Prolapse: My Healing Journey

I still remember the day I hit my breaking point. I was working out at a local gym. I wasn’t doing anything “heavy” in comparison to what I used to lift. I took a 20 pound weight and started a set of goblet squats. That was when it happened. I leaked in a squat.

I’m so thankful I was alone that day, because I laid in the floor choking back tears for several minutes. I had been trying to rehab my own prolapse for a year and  I was so ready to just “feel better and get back to doing all the things”. 

Even though I had been doing my own investigating and education on pelvic floor, breath, and prolapse, I just couldn’t seem to get past this wall in my workouts. My symptoms were a rollercoaster ride.  Some days the heavy feeling in my vagina would be a little better, and others would be really terrible. 

Heaviness and a burning feeling (like a constant UTI) were my main symptoms the majority of that year. 

But the leaking mid squat? That was new. It scared me to death.  After that squat in the gym that day, I finally decide that I NEEDED outside help. A peer of mine referred me to Aimee Bailey for pelvic floor PT.

I saw Aimee weekly for about 6 weeks. What was really great about Aimee, and so vastly different from my first PFPT experience, was Aimee wanted to know my GOALS. She wasn’t prescribing a generic set of rehab exercises. She asked me all the questions about the activities I loved to do.  She approached my treatment with an open mind and also allowed me to bring different movements to the table in our sessions together to experiment with. We would investigate what movements increased symptoms and different ways we could adjust the movement.

After 6 weeks, I hit the graduation point of PT.  For me that next step meant getting back to strength training. However, I knew that I didn’t want to do it alone. The last year of trying to rehab myself had made me a mental/emotional basket case. I needed someone to guide me and help navigate the very non linear path to prolapse healing.

Enter Kate Johnson.

Kate is very knowledgeable, authentic, down to earth, and all the things I want to be for my own clients. Kate has held my hand on this journey over the last 9 months and I’m so extremely thankful.

For me, this healing journey has been every bit (if not more) an emotional and mental healing as it has been a physical one. I had this inner belief that I was broken. Every time my symptoms would increase, I would go down a dark hole of feeling like I wasn’t capable of healing and getting back to doing what I loved. I was scared to do different movements because I didn’t want to “break myself more”. I didn’t trust my body or the process.

Kate trained me once a week via zoom and I would do two additional strength workouts on my own each week as well. She had this sense of calm, and willingness to adapt and adjust. She didn’t seem to be afraid of breaking me, I needed her to lend me that calm.

And so, I just kept showing up to my workouts. Week after week. Giving her feedback and learning to embrace the process. Learning that with a prolapse healing it is so normal for symptoms to fluctuate. So many factors influence symptoms, including stress!

What Kate gave me this year, was such a reminder of what I have the ability to give to my clients. She had trust in the process and in me, even when I didn’t. She held space for my hard days and reminded me that I am strong, capable, adaptable, and resilient. I’m forever changed both as a human and a coach.

I love that I get to help other women on their journeys. And while I wasn’t thrilled about this entire journey (are we ever thrilled about hard things?)… I can say that my experience has, was, and will continue to fuel me to be a champion for women’s health.

I’m now doing so many things that I was afraid of attempting this time last year. I jump rope. I run. I do jumping jacks. I do heavy squats. I deadlift. I do aerial silks. Am I where I want to be, not yet! But I can tell you more progress has been made in the last 9 months, then when I tried to do it alone.

If you’re reading this and think you might be dealing with a prolapse, first of all I highly encourage you to see a pelvic floor physical therapist. Please reach out to me if you want to talk or have questions. I’m always happy to help!

If you’d like to learn more about how my prolapse happened or what a prolapse is, you can read about them on my other blog posts.

What is Prolapse?

My Prolapse Struggle

I’ll be hosting a pelvic floor workshop at PowHer Performance this Saturday, January 7th. You can still sign up here! And coming soon this year, I’ll be launching postpartum coaching. Coaching specific to postpartum healing, whether you’re 20 years postpartum or 2 months. If you’d like more information about my postpartum coaching as it’s released, you can join my postpartum mailing list!

Hope to connect with you soon my friend,

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